Welcome to Lane's IP Autograph Page!
Although most autograph pages on the net can tell you everything you wanted to know about getting autographs through the mail, I thought I would describe my in-person experiences.
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Biggest dinks that I ever got or tried to get a autograph from:
| 1. | Marcus Allen | football player |
| 2. | Joe Montana | ex-football player |
| 3. | Members of Fleetwood Mac | rock group |
| 4. | Chip Lohmiller | football player |
| 5. | Greg Hill | football player |
Most awesome people I ever got an autograph from:
| 1. | Bobby Vee | Old rock singer |
| 2. | Kirby Puckett | ex-baseball player |
| 3. | Jesse "the body" Ventura | ex-wrestler/actor/mayor |
| 4. | Ray Nitshke | HOF football player |
| 5. | Members of Foreigner | Rock group |
Marcus Allen -a real dink- won't sign any autographs because he's scared that someone will make a buck off him. The only reason I even got him to sign my football because I stuck it by his face and he stopped to chew my butt for 5 minutes and signed it though. His buddy was Ronnie Lott, who snarled and growled at little kids when they asked him for his autograph. These two are a couple of class act A-holes in my book!
Joe Montana -not that he was so rude but it was so frustrating to be so close to getting his autograph and not getting it. He came out the door of the cafeteria and there was a swarm of old loser security guard wannabe's swarming around him screaming "don't trip him, don't trip him!" Isn't he a quarterback who has big linebackers sacking his butt, and they're worried about little kids tripping him? Anyway, he ignored most everyone, signed a few autos for some kids as he walked. I asked for him auto, he said he already signed one for me (even though he didn't even look at me to know) and took off. Joe the Schmoe in my book.
Fleetwood Mac -I saw them at a rock fest and they really sucked! They sucked so bad that I thought I would wait in line to get their autographs halfway through their show. I waited a hour after they were done and someone came out to tell us waiting that they weren't going to sign any autographs because they weren't top billing (Foreigner was top, and for a reason). It was nice for them to tell us that after 2 hours of waiting, when during the show they said they were going to. Two words for them, "has-beens". A suggestion- give it up!
Chip Lohmiller -this was at a celebrity carnival and I got everyone's auto there easily until I got to Chippers. There was some dumb game he was running and I waited by the side patiently for what seemed forever. I love being ignored by players that I never heard of! Finally some parent yelled at him and told him to sign for me. (Duh, Heathcliff?) He came over signed it, said nothing and went back.
Greg Hill -there is a special feeling you get inside when someone signs your autograph grudgingly and mumbles "I hate signing *&$#ing autographs!" OK, Greggy, the Gregster, you're the man, not!
Bobby Vee -some of you young bucks might have no clue who this man is, he is a old rock and roll singer who sung songs like "red-rubber ball" and "Devil or Angel" and "the Night has a Thousand Eyes". Still probably don't know who he is, but the guy is awesome! I met him once and one year later he remembered me. I actually had a conversation with him! WOW! I have a picture of me and him that I'm going to put on this page when I learn to do that.
Kirby Puckett -how someone as popular as him around here can cater to fans like he does amazes me. Me and my dad went to a Celebrity Carnival in the old Met Center in Bloomington, Minnesota and we were like the last ones in. We walked around and my dad pointed to some guy and said "That's Kirby Puckett!"
I told him that if it was Kirby there would be a million people by him, but we went over there anyhow. Sure enough, it was Kirby! I had him sign a magazine of mine and he was really polite, me and my dad turned around and there was 3000 people behind us. The luck of the Irish was with us!
Ray Nitshke -imagine a line of 6000 people waiting in line to meet you, wanting you to sign tons of crap and have you hold their drooling baby. I never seen a man close to his age handle as many people as him and satisfy them all as well as he did. A great man. I also have a picture of me and him that I am going to add here soon.
Foreigner -It was like one o'clock in the morning after they played and they came out and signed for everyone. They were really polite for just getting over doing a kick butt concert 30 minutes ago. Really cool guys!
Morton Downey Jr. -does anyone remember this loud mouth who used to have his own talkshow? I met him after a gay rights debate which was boring, and I never witnessed a man needing a cigarrette so bad in his life. He signed for everyone, but he didn't like being kept from his life support (cigarrettes). I have a picture of me and him that will be added soon too.
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